he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
