Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
