Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize