Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
