Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
