but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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