she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
