When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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