hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
