Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
