Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize