honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
