Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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