Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
