She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
