In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
