the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
