i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize