My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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