He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't turn off my feet"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
