I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You left your phone here
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