batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
