My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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