Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Panties = found
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
