Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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