We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
