It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Brb crying the tears of my youth
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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