4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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