Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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