Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
