You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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