I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
