Midget sex pt 2 tonight
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Everclear isn't food dammit
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
