After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
