saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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