I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
