you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize