So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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