Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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