Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
