you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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