She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
