dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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