just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
