u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
