why didn't you poke me back
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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