I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
