her vagine was all disorganized.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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