no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
