Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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