i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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