So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
