What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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