shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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