If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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