..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
