How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
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eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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