I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
