final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
