I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
